


my love for you (just for you)

by tillloveburnusall



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Getting Together, I'm tired, M/M, Mark Taeyong and Hyuck are siblings, Weird Love Confessions, renhyuck implied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:20:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22760860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tillloveburnusall/pseuds/tillloveburnusall
Summary: Mark thinks Johnny’s turtleneck sweater is cute. Things kind escalates from there.
Relationships: Mark Lee/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 7
Kudos: 86
Collections: NCT Rarepair Winter Bingo





	my love for you (just for you)

**Author's Note:**

> I can't believe I'm actually posting this... I had so many things to take care of these pasts months that I was pretty much sure that I would drop this fest but hey! here we are. Being real with you guys I don't really like this work but I wanted to post something anyway so yeah... but I know that is not good, so if you dislike it you can comment it or just pretended it that you never read it this.
> 
> Well, sorry! not beta'ed
> 
> Bingo tiles: turtlenecks

The first time John Seo and Mark Lee meet, Donhyuck is trying to strangle Mark. _Literally._

Mark can’t really remember how that happened. He just knows that one time he was stuffing Hyuck’s mouth with silt and the other his brother was lying in his face, cutting his supply of air. 

As it was told, and Mark does not have a reason to disbelieve, Johnny was the one who helped Donghyuck when the younger boy noticed that Mark wasn’t moving anymore and started crying, thinking that _this time_ he had actually killed his older brother. 

Johnny called Ms. Seo and tried to calm Donghyuck, although some bad tongues (his mother) claims that he was more nervous than the younger and couldn’t do much. 

Of course, Mark wouldn’t die even if Johnny hadn’t found them. The doctor explained for a full twenty minutes the reason why but like it was said previously, Mark didn’t remember much about the incident and the only thing that came in his memory about his time in the hospital was that the curtains had a weird Looney Tunes pattern and that the doctor smelled like burned cookies. 

Well, it’s not like he could say he was _craving_ for any memories about the day but he _did_ want to see Donghyuck crying because of him and only maybe he also wanted to see John. Who he only officially met three days later while Hyuck was trying to strangle him, _again._

At least, that time he didn’t pass out. 

Funny thing the destiny, ten years later and here is Mark. Waiting for the same Johnny Seo who saved his life (not exactly, but this was one of the things that Johnny liked to brag about and Mark always thought he looked cute doing it, so he never really cleared the misunderstanding). 

“Mark!” 

Mark snaps his head in the taller boy direction, still munching on his banana muffin and although he usually is pretty good pretending that his crush in Johnny died when he completed eighteen, he just wasn’t prepared for _this_ _._

Johnny looks quite ethereal like this, Mark decides. Dark brown eyes glimmering with life, cheeks in a soft shade of red as a result of the cold weather and chapped lips that somehow makes him look even more adorable in Mark’s eyes. 

And all of this would be enough to end him on regular days, but today is not a regular day, it’s Christmas Eve and Johnny is wearing a turtleneck sweater. Mark swears that he is only a bit from losing his mind. 

“Man, are you okay?” This releases Mark from his self-induced ‘daydream about Johnny’ state and he almost chokes on his own breath when Johnny comes closer, eyes clouded with concern. 

The coldness of his skin comes in touch with Mark’s and for a moment, Mark thinks about both of them together, watching Christmas movies and drinking hot chocolate with marshmallows in front of them. 

As always, Donghyuck is the one that spoils everything. 

“You know that you look stupid as fuck when you just stare at nothing like this, right?” 

The groan that escapes Mark’s throat could be read-only as desolation. Of course that if Johnny was visiting him, Donghyuck would tag along to see Mark making a fool of himself in front of the older man. 

“You said that you had a lot of assignments this year, hyuck”

“I did”

“So you wouldn’t come to visit me”

“Yup!”

Honestly, sometimes, even though Mark was known as a really mature person, he felt like the same kid that stuffed his brother’s mouth with silt and laughed while he cried. Donghyuck surely deserved that sometimes.

“What the hell are you doing here, then?”

The Younger one stares at Mark for a minute or so and then laughs. 

“You can’t be _this_ stupid, hyung” He says, pulling Mark into a hug. “ I missed you” 

And then, because Hyuck is Hyuck, he whispers softly in his ear. “And I would never lose a chance of seeing you grow this little crush of yours”

Mark definitely hadn’t signed up for this. 

“It’s always beautiful to see the love between brothers” Johnny says while Mark struggles to keep Donghyuck in a headlock, which startles both of them as they had forgotten, as often happened before, that the older was there.

Hyuck always said that it was Johnny’s fault, as he never says anything and refused any attempts of fights. Mark was inclined to agree. 

Anyways, the Lee brothers finally apart, giving Johnny space enough to pull Mark into an awkward, and sweet, hug. 

“Long time no see, Markie” The older’s voice is warm and soft and Mark feels like melting by his heat. “I missed you”

“Me too, hyung, me too”

… 

Donghyuck leaves three days after their little Christmas party, going back to Canada so he could spend New Year’s Eve with their mom and a moping Taeyong, who was still bitter about the fact that he couldn’t come to visit too.

He leaves Mark with tears in his eyes and absence clenching his chest. 

Hyuck was the devil incarnate but he was his little brother and days always seemed too boring without him. 

Probably because of the miserable nostalgic state Mark had set himself in, Johnny decided to stay a few more days and so, instead of just letting the older stay in one of those crazy-expensive hotels he offered his house while Hendery, his roommate, was back in his hometown. 

Living with Johnny was weird, he had thought about it so many times that now it felt like it wasn’t real. Like one of those crazy movies where the person would dream about their crush and fantasize about having a cliché romantic life and all that bullshit with them just to end up waking with the dog licking their faces. 

In conclusion, Mark was in a panic. 

They were doing so _couple-y_ stuff like going to the supermarket together and eating breakfast on each other’s bed that it was slowly driving Mark crazy. He had lost the count of times he called Donghyuck asking for advice just to be made fun in return. 

It just, Johnny was so adorable that Mark couldn’t really help. 

“Markie, do you wanna go skating? Ms. Jones told me they are opening for couples today!” Of course that the older man had barely finished his sentence and Mark was already choking on his spearmint tea, “ _Couples?_ ”

“Yeah, It’s a special thing, I guess, for the New Years Eve” He shrugs, making his coat fall from his shoulders with the motion, “You don’t need to go if you feel uncomfortable, I just thought it would be something fun, and we would pretend to be a couple just at the entrance” 

_Pretend_. Yeah, Mark wasn’t in the mood to pretend but he knew how Johnny liked the ice and although he felt like overflowing with his feelings stuck on his mouth, Johnny always came first. Always. 

“Sure, why not?”

… 

One of the reasons Mark didn’t really want to come was… He had an awful sense of balance and on ice that worsened by a hundred percent. 

For god’s sake, he couldn’t even stand on his own! 

He clings on Johnny’s sweater, the well-known malign turtleneck, and tries not to have a heart attack as the older slides smoothly through the ice. 

“I thought you said you’ve been practicing?” Johnny’s voice is mocking in a way too fond to be benefiting to Mark’s health but he forces a breathy laugh out and in order of keeping himself steady on his ice skaters, he doesn’t answer the question.

They cultivate a comfortable silence, Mark now sliding on his own but never leaving Johnny’s side. He steals a glance at the older and almost feels the words choke on him, they hurt, almost physically. 

Hurts the way Johnny seems to be in love with the whole world, hurts the way he can never tell if the way he smiles at him every time they meet is desire or just brotherly love. 

It hurts to love someone so much that you can’t even tell them this. 

Johnny looks back at him, and his eyes, Mark sees, are full of love. But they are not for him, not _only_ for him, at least. 

When the older’s face crunches in worry, Mark grimaces, trying to force a smile but when nothing goes out he feels the tears force their way out, making him feel even weaker. 

“Hey, _Markie?_ ” Johnny’s voice is laced with preoccupation and Mark almost feels bad for this but his chest is burning and he can’t breathe properly so when the older whisper comforting words in his ears and ask him if he wants to go home, he just nods. 

… 

After his embarrassing crying session, Mark still tried to play the “I’m fine, I just remembered this sad video with these awful people beating a poor and defenseless robot” but Johnny just gave him a blank stare and waited until he finished his hot chocolate so he could finally understand what happened.

See? How could Mark not fall in love with someone who waited for him to start an argument? It was simply impossible. 

When silence and Johnny’s gaze are too much for him, he finally opens his mouth. 

“I love you, hyung” He can see exactly the moment where Johnny is prepared to give an ‘I love you, too’ before the information sinks into his minds and he understands the implications of what Mark said, and he really wants to wait for the older’s time but he’s exhausted and he feels like a small cup holding the biggest snowstorm. The words just overflow violently from him. 

“Not like I love Taeyong hyung or like I love Hyuckie” His eyes burn but he swallows the tears and keeps staring at the wall behinds Johnny, “I want to touch you and I want to hug you and I want to use one of those stupids boyfriends sweaters my grandma forces Hyuck and Renjun use with you and I know you don’t feel the same but I just kept this for so long and it hurts so much that I can’t just control it anymore”

He pushes his sleeves to his eyes, trying to dry the tears but when he remembers that the flannel he is currently using is also Johnny’s he just cries harder. 

Silence falls and Mark feels regret burning his whole being and when he’s completely prepared to make a hole in the floor and stuck his head like one of those funny and cute animals, Johnny's laugh fills his senses. 

“You’re definitely one of a kind, Mark Lee” Mark searches for Johnny’s eyes and when he finds the older looking back at him, he thinks something on him cracks and the urge of pulling the other to his arms takes the best on him, “I literally traveled half of the world just to see you, kid… You are just so oblivious” 

A bubbly laugh goes out from his mouth and Mark never thought he would thank Hyuck for trying to strangle him when they were kids, but three months later, in one of their family meetings, when he announces Johnny as his boyfriend, he thinks he deserves it. 

…

“Hey, Markie?”

He turns around, backpack strips tingling his neck. “Yeah?”

“I love you too”

Johnny still looks like he loves the whole world, but Mark doesn’t really care anymore. When the day falls and they are facing each other, he knows that no one else receives the soft shades of love that Johnny sends for him. _Just for him._

**Author's Note:**

> lame, i know
> 
> [find me in twitter](https://twitter.com/heathown/)


End file.
